In a previous article we investigated the power of building a magnetic future in getting yourself motivated. If you know which mountain you want to climb, and can really see, taste and feel what it's like to get to the top, then you'll plough through difficulties to get there.
But what if you just can't get started? If you know where you want to go, but your magnetic future isn't pulling you anywhere. If that's so, it looks like you have a tricky case of Sticky Floorboards - you're glued to the spot, expecting to get started any second, but never quite managing it. Sir, Madam, it looks like you need to call in the experts.
Sticky floorboards are perfectly normal and can show up in any situation from 'meaning to tell that colleague how rude they're being,' to 'meaning to quit my terrible job and do something I actually like.' But, without moving, you're going to stay in exactly the same place. Let me share with you three remedies for Sticky Floorboard syndrome.
1) Put aside expectations of how you should behave.
One of the top reasons for staying stuck to your floorboards is old ideas of how you're supposed to act, think and speak. We shape so much of our lives around what other people tell is is sensible and how we think other people would like us to act. This can paralyse you from seeing different ways of doing things. These are old ideas that may have served you until now, but if you want to move towards the summit of your mountain, you will need new ways of doing things.
Ask yourself: in which parts of my life does the fear of how I should behave keep me stuck? Look for hidden beliefs you hold, like "I want people to like me" or "A secure job and a pension is more important than my immediate happiness." And when you've identified your beliefs of how you should behave, get beyond your sticky floorboards by asking yourself this critical question....
"What would I do if I didn't have to be normal?"
The answer to this question is the key to you taking ownership of your own next steps, rather than relying on the advice or opinions of others. This is about giving yourself permission to act differently.
2) Make it Delightful!
If permission to act differently isn't your problem, it could be that you're stuck because you lack the energy to get going. If climbing your mountain makes you feel a bit flat, remedy 2 is the one for you. To scale any mountain you need to feel fully pumped with energy and committed to charging forwards. This is much, much easier if the next thing you're going to do sounds delightful to you.
SARK's Wheel of Delight is a specially - built tool to help people get moving when they want to make something happen in their life. I recommend you read this article to get to grips with this simple and delightful technique: Happiness Exercise 4: The Wheel of Delight.
3) Drop Mr & Mrs Logical
If we think too much, we can 'logic' ourselves into the fear of taking a next step. Let's take a look at Imaginary Dave who's are afraid of public speaking. The more Imaginary Dave thinks about doing a talk in public, the more he sees what can go wrong. He'll forget his words, he won't be able to answer a question, he'll boring people, he'll trip up on a power cable.... the list of potential pitfalls is endless. Soon, he's investigated so many negative scenarios that failure becomes the only possible option.
What's more, Imaginary Dave thinks he's being logical throughout this process, so he convinces himself it's not possible for him to speak in public. Fact. Whereas, if he just got up and did it, he'd see that he can do it.
Dropping Mr & Mrs Logical is about stopping the thoughts that stick us to the floorboards and just get moving. Simple as that - one foot in front of the other. Because, as we all know, if you never do anything, nothing ever gets done. So... Give yourself permission to do something different, make it delightful and just do it!
Good luck!
Further Reading
See Part 1: Building a Magnetic Future
Part 3. Vanquishing Vampires and Ducking Demons
Video Blog: How to be more motivated
-----------
This article is a snippet of the Ginger Training & Coaching Staying Motivated programme for organisations. It's already worked well for groups of lawyers and accountants, so it will work for many more groups. Please email biscuits@go-ginger.com or call 0207 3888 645 if you think your organisation would benefit from Staying Motivated.
------------
We all have those things we never get to in life - whether it's clearing out the cupboard, going to the opticians, or actually changing jobs, like you've been meaning to for 7 years. So long as you're not doing those things, there's something that feels sticky and unfinished in your life.
If you're anything 80% of the population, you're the perfect combination of a Procrastinator and a Perfectionist - which means that if you're trying to get something done the Perfectionist tells you "yes, but that's not quite good enough" and your Procrastinator tells you, "Oh well then, maybe I'll do it better later on..."
Author, muse and inspirational speaker - SARK has developed this fantastically fun tool - The "Micro-movement Wheel of Delight" to help all of us Procrastinator-Perfectionists get things done.
What's it good for?
The biggest reason why we don't get stuff done is that we don't really like the sound of doing it. As SARK puts it, it's not delightful enough. The Micro-movement Wheel of Delight is a wonderful tool for bringing enthusiasm into otherwise difficult or dull tasks.
The other reason why we don't get stuff done is because we we don't start. The Micro-movement Wheel of Delight is a perfect tool to solve this, by starting with the basic assumption that we can do anything for 5 minutes. Anything beyond that, who knows? But 5 minutes should be fine, right?
How to do it
So, let's get started. Don't worry, this will only take 5 minutes, so you can start right now.
1) Draw yourself a doughnut like circle in the middle of a page - with eight segments.
2) In the centre of the doughnut, write the thing that you would like to have happen in your life.
Rule number 1: It must be delightful.
If the thing you'd like to have happen is "Tidy my house" - it's clearly not going to happen, because you've developed a reaction to the word 'tidy' that means you see it as something negative. "Tidy my house" focuses on what you want to avoid (the stick), not on what you want to have (the carrot). Instead, why not change your house into "a beautiful palace of calm" or "a gorgeous love pad?" The sillier and the more delightful the better! How much more likely are you to succeed if you're heading towards something that makes you feel delight?
For me, "Tidy my desk" turned into "Create an Office Goodies Temple"
3) In each of the 8 segments, write a micro-movement - a small task that you can do in 5 minutes to help you towards your delightful aim.
Remember rule number 1 - It must be delightful. This is not just a to-do list exercise. Every single segment should delight you. For example, I decided one of my micro-movements needed to be to buy a new stapler. Instead of "Buy new stapler" (snore), my micro-movement became "New luxury stapler shopping adventure." (mmm... James Bond!)
4) Remember rule number 1 - It must be delightful. So, make your Wheel of Delight into whatever is delightful for you. I used colours and doodles to give mine a delightful feeling for me. If it delights you to only fill out one of the segments at a time, that's perfect. And don't think you need to achieve your delightful aim in just 8 steps - these are just the first eight steps to go for. Once you're finished with this Wheel of Delight, make your next one!
www.go-ginger.com
Happiness Exercise 3: The Appreciation Game
Happiness Exercise 2: The Not-to-do List
Happiness Exercise 1: The "I Like" Page
The nights are closing in and with more economic gloom looming, it's easy to find yourself sliding down the slippery slope of demotivation. "What's the point?" "Why bother?" and "Ugh, if I have to..." might be phrases you find yourself uttering from time to time. But when there are so many exciting things to do and achieve in the world, we don't want pesky demotivation to get in the way, do we? Here's the Ginger take on how to keep yourself trim, sharp and motivated.
Part 1: Build a Magnetic Future
Have you ever heard of a walker who accidentally one day stumbled to the top of Everest? Just taking a stroll and "Whoops - what a lovely view"? Me neither. Likewise, if you don't know what your own mountain peak is, the chances are you'll wander round in the foothills without ever reaching the summit. Yet, as soon as you know which mountain you're aiming for, you can start to prepare your ascent.
Building a Magnetic Future means having a strong, detailed and compelling idea of what you want from life. Figure out what your really want and you'll find a deep connection to what keeps you going- otherwise known as your motivation. When something has to happen in your life because you want it so much, it has become a Magnetic Future.
Most of us at some point in life have experienced the pull of a Magnetic Future. You may call it being 'On Purpose,' 'At the top of my game,' or just 'Having a really nice time.' It's the feeling that nothing can get in the way of what has to happen - what's going to happen, because we believe in it so much. So how do you build a Magnetic Future?
1. Start from the end, not the beginning
Forget about what's 'possible' for a moment and think of what you would like to do in your life if you had no constraints. No money issues, no people issues, no place issues, no time issues. What would you like to do in your life? Fill a page of A4 with ideas, words, drawings, images.
2. Find the magnetic force
Take a look at your A4 sheet of paper and see which are the parts of it that really stand out to you. Which are the words or ideas that make you tingle with excitement - and possibly even nerves? If there's nothing on the list that makes you feel that way, go back to your sheet of A4 and think "what could I do in my life that would be outrageous?"
The parts of your paper that stand out to you are the magnet. This will be your driving force to keep you motivated.
3. Turn up the power
Now, ask yourself what would would be different if your magnetic words or ideas became a reality? What would your world look like? How would you behave? What would you achieve? What and who would you interact with? What would you be doing and how would you be doing it?
What would all of this make possible on a broader scale?
What you're doing here is to actually start creating your magnetic future. If you're on the right track, you'll already feel that exciting, motivational pull that shows the magnet is starting to work. Work more on this and you'll hit upon a compelling vision of your future that has to happen. When you really hit that, you'll be unstoppable.
For some people questions like this get their juices flowing instantly, whilst for others they need a different style. That's why I coach people 1-2-1 through processes like this. If you're interested in this technique, but need a helping hand, stop by the Ginger coaching page to find out more about what it involves.
Staying Motivated is not only about building a Magnetic Future - it also has two further steps I call:
Part 2. Getting off those Sticky Floorboards
Part 3. Vanquishing Vampires and Ducking Demons
-----------
This article is a snippet of the Ginger Training & Coaching Staying Motivated programme for organisations. It's already worked well for groups of lawyers and accountants, so it will work for many more groups. Please email biscuits@go-ginger.com or call 0207 3888 645 if you think your organisation would benefit from Staying Motivated.
------------
Further reading:
How Dreams learn to Fly
Give yourself authority to dream.
What's your point? Focus & One-pointedness in action
