Showing posts with label cause and effect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cause and effect. Show all posts

Monday, 13 September 2010

Happiness: The only way is up!

Welcome back to Ginger School after the summer holidays. I hope you have your new pencil case and sharpened pencils at the ready. I've just got back from a few weeks traveling around Europe with a bus full of Buddhists, so this time I'd like to share with you what we can use in daily life from the Buddhist take on happiness.

If you're anything like me, you'll know that life has its ups and downs. There are moments when you feel that everything's great, that you're invincible, that things couldn't be better. And then, (often the next day) there are those slumps when nothings seems to be right. Buddhism is all about progressing towards lasting happiness, or 'enlightenment' as Buddhists put it. It's the state where we have realised our true, perfect nature (this is 'Buddhahood') and no longer experience the highs and lows of every day existence (known as 'samsara').


These ideas have deeply influenced me with my work at Ginger, where it's inspiring to see my clients take steps towards a more fulfilling lifestyle every day. Buddhism often seems confusing to the beginner because there are so many different teachings - that's no surprise when you hear that the historical Buddha Shakyamuni gave 84,000 teachings over the course of 45 years. I'm not sure you'll stick with me all the way to five figures, so I'll chop it down to three points. There are three levels of Buddhism and three different perspectives you can use to look at happiness:

1. Happiness is based on cause and effect

The "Small Way" of Buddhism focuses on karma, which means 'cause and effect' (not, as it's sometimes thought of as fate- with karma we are in complete control of our future). Simply put, good choices of actions bring results that will make you feel good and bad choices of actions bring the reverse. We've all heard that "What goes around, comes around" and Buddhism says that this is true. If you plant a rose seed, you'll get a rose bush, not a cactus. My profession actually relies on the law of karma, because if karma wasn't true, we wouldn't be able to change our lives - it would just be random.

So, how can you use the law of karma to increase our happiness levels?
- First of all, identify an area of your life where you frequently suffer ups and downs.
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Now, go habit hunting. Try to identify what your habitual reactions are to similar situations that result in you feeling bad afterwards and create a causality chain,

e.g:
I do really well in an assignment:
  1. I feel great and decide go socialising.
  2. I'm on top of the world with all my friends, drinking and being merry.
  3. Along the way I lose control a touch and say something insensitive to a friend.
  4. The next morning I remember the comment, but feel too exhausted to apologize.
  5. Some weeks later I've forgotten about the comment, but my friend was hurt by it. The next time I have something to celebrate, she decides to make other plans.
    ...and so on.
- Once you've figured out your causality chain, try to act differently next time, to bring a more positive result.
- It's sometimes very difficult to identify the causality in a situation, because many complex previous actions come into play. Here, the most useful thought to contribute to your happiness is "Steer towards what I know is right and it will be good for me in the long-run."

2. Happiness comes from focusing on others

The "Great Way" of Buddhism emphasizes compassion for others. It teaches that we are just one person and the others are countless more; that if we focus on ourselves we only see problems, but that if we focus on the others, we have helpful things to do for them.

How can you put this into practice?
- In those moments where you feel down, the worst thing you can do is to indulge that feeling. Accept that it's natural to feel down sometimes and look for someone else who needs help. By removing the focus from yourself, you'll automatically shoot back up the happiness line.
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Generosity is one of the best tools to help you focus on others. What we give to others has this wonderful tendency of coming back to us two or three fold. So, nominate one day a week as Generosity Day. See what you can do for others- from letting him onto the bus first, to giving away a cake you've been craving, to washing all the dishes. Crucially, expect nothing in return, or you're still focusing on yourself over others. If you need inspiration, take an example from the gorgeous film "Amelie" - where a naive young french woman decides to do good deeds for others. If you prefer to cope with a gentle amount of American cheese, "Pay it Forward" also holds a similar message.
- Work on listening in a situation where you would usually dominate the conversation, or be thinking of something else. Remember that we are built with two ears and just one mouth! Listening is a great way to say to someone that we are placing more importance on them than ourselves.

3. We already have everything we need for perfect happiness

The third level of Buddhism is the "Diamond Way." This level teaches that we are already equipped with everything we need to be completely happy. That everything we experience is the radiant expression of lasting happiness, or enlightenment - only we don't always see it. On this level, the world is a pure land and all beings have the capacity for enlightenment. Pleasure is to be enjoyed with a sense of freedom and spontaneity and difficulties are to be learned from.

This level is both the simplest to learn and the most difficult to understand. As such I wouldn't claim to be able to pass on information about it that's anything more than my approximate understanding. But, there are some very useful applications of this view of the world which is known as the 'pure view':

- If the world outside is already a pure land, then we can't look for a solution for our own happiness by changing outside conditions. The idea that happiness comes from within oneself has the potential to profoundly change your life as it means taking responsibility rather than making excuses.
- Next time you experience something great, enjoy the experience without guilt, without trying to keep it and without expecting it to be this or that.
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Next time the inevitable difficulty pops up, try to see it as separate from your happiness- that, given time, it will pass. By deeply understanding these last two points, we can learn to lessen out the troughs and increase the peaks of our happiness.

I am by no means an expert in this subject matter - My aim here is to share a few thoughts about Buddhist methods. If you're interested in receiving expert instruction, I'd thoroughly recommend you visit one of the Space For Mind Buddhism talks between 14th-22nd September in London at SOAS/ University of London - some of which are free of charge.

Related articles:
How dreams learn to fly
What's your point? - Focus & one-pointedness
Awareness- the first tool to outstanding public speaking
A word from your saboteur...

Friday, 25 June 2010

Happiness Exercise 1: The "I like" page

Welcome to the first in a series of bite sized exercises to help you boost your ability to create positive change in your life.

I'd like to share with you one of my favourite techniques for making mental habits more positive - the "I Like" page. Simply take a sheet of paper, write "I Like" in the middle of it and fill the page with all the good things you notice over the course of the day - from the mundane to the majestic.

How to do it
The technique is as simple as it sounds, but it may take a little practice to get moving, especially when you're staring at a blank page. The trick is to include anything you like, starting from the things you can physically see around you. If you're still struggling, take a walk and look around you at nature, or think of the little moments in life that give you pleasure.

What's it good for?
Whenever I need a boost in positivity, I whip out an "I Like" page. Just focusing on positive things around you increases your capacity to do get things done, because the mind works more incisively when its energy isn't spread across different worries and concerns. From a positive mindset, obstacles generally seem less significant and therefore easier to overcome - test this to see if it's right for you.

Secondly, an "I Like" page can distract from a big, sticky problem that won't seem to go away. Simply removing yourself from that 'stuck' perspective for a few minutes is often enough to find a different, more positive way to progress. How can you worry when your mind is on crusty bread, or barefoot on grass?

Thirdly, the technique works on your creativity and even humour, by encouraging you to recognise every little thing that makes you feel positive. For example, as I was writing this page I heard a child's laughter on a nearby table. Looking up, I realised it was an old lady with a big grin - wonderful!

Fourthly, using this technique over time builds mental resilience and contributes to general happiness. In conditioning yourself to notice the good in every situation, rather than the bad, you will start to find yourself thinking and acting more positively. Would you rather be surrounded by a world of average, dull things, people and ideas, or one that is creative, alive and exciting?

I do love a good "I like" page - so much that the technique in itself will probably make it onto my next "I Like" page. I'd love to see how it works for you- please give it a shot and post a comment.

Happiness Exercise 4: The Wheel of Delight
Happiness Exercise 3: The Appreciation Game
Happiness Exercise 2: The Not-to-do List