Why the world needs you to speak from the heart

Take a peek around you in the media - what do you see? Another celebrity scandal? Another politician who’s got in trouble for saying something? Another frenzy about the new iSomething-that-we-don’t-really-need?

To me, all this seems rather unreal, distant and uninspiring. Like it misses the point somewhere.

What gets me tickled is connection. Like last week, when I heard the founder of the Coaches Training Institute Karen Kimsey-House speak in London. She had a complete absence of spin. No hype. No hoopla. No glossy buzzwords. Yet she was one of the most inspiring speaker’s I’ve come across. Why? Because she spoke from the heart.

It felt fresh, it felt deep and I found myself listening to and receiving her words on a whole different level.

What the world needs now, more than ever, is inspiration. And the most powerful way I’ve found of inspiring others is to stand up and speak from the heart. It’s known in some circles as public speaking. And it’s more powerful than any video, email or tweet could ever be.

What the world needs now is you – the people who think and care – to step out of your comfort zone and become a voice for positive change. It doesn’t matter if you’re scared, Laura Whitworth admits to still being terrified of public speaking. What matters is that you get your message out there.

See, what I’m finding as I think more about public speaking (which I ought to be doing having just finished writing a book about it), is that truly brilliant public speaking boils down to authenticity.

Of course a good speaker needs to get the basics right. They should be at choice with how their body, voice and mind behave whilst they’re speaking; they should have a solid sense of empathy with their audience’s needs; their content should be fresh, engaging and well-structured. But all of this can leave you cold without those authentic moments when a speaker talks from the heart.

If all this talk of inspiring public speaking sounds daunting, let me assure you that there’s a proven pathway to get you there. With help, support and a fair dose of your own bravery, you will get there. The first three steps along that pathway go a little like this:

1) Solidify your message. Find out what you really care about. What is the tank you’re willing to stand in front of? Learn for yourself what’s really important to you, by seeing what grabs your attention in the news, or in life at large. This is your message.

2) Link your message to what you do. What you do as a job or hobby is your practical reason for standing up and speaking in public. If your message totally conflicts with both, I’d urge you to find new ways of spending your time. Usually there’s a good link. And this is your reason for speaking in public.

3) Speak up! Know that nobody will hear your message of change unless you start to tell it. If you don’t say it, nobody else will – not in that special way that’s authentic to you. If you understand the significance of your message, you’ll be ready to talk, even if it makes your knees wobble. So it’s time to get moving.

You may need some help on the way to shape the message, or to build your speaking technique, but make a start. If you’ve nowhere else to go, head to a local Toastmasters club where new (and experienced) public speakers are always welcome.

And, of course, this is just the start of the journey. I support speakers and aspiring speakers along the way.

My programmes include:

Foundations of Excellent Public Speaking

Memorable Messages through Public Speaking

Public Speaking for Workshop Leaders

For more information, please visit: http://www.go-ginger.com/workshops.html

Sarah Lloyd-Hughes is founder of Ginger Training & Coaching – www.go-ginger.com and author of “How to be Brilliant at Public Speaking” (Pearson, Sept 2011).

4 secrets to turn your day from mundane to magical

Isn't it great to wake up feeling excited about your day ahead? To know that whatever you're doing that day, it matters, it's meaningful. What if you could feel like this every day?

Well, guess what? You can - no matter what you do right now.

I'll share with you some ideas of how, but first, let's back up a little. For me, there's no more inspiring profession than what I do. My work as a coach helps people to live their dreams (what a privilege) and I've just completed a life-long ambition to become a published author (well, I've done the work... now I have to wait for the book to come out in October). Yet, even though I'm doing what I always wanted to do, this Monday morning I didn't leap to my desk with enthusiasm. I slumped there, bleary eyed and wanting to go back to bed.

"If you can't muster enthusiasm for the day," I asked myself, "how can you expect to inspire your clients?"

This could have been one of those days we all have, where things feel like walking through glue. But instead of wallowing in my Monday blues, I got on the phone to a wonderful coach friend of mine, Nikki Armytage - The Life Stylist. She helped me remember that your day goes whichever way you choose it to go. Any day can be mundane or magical.

Something that was magical for me as a six year old girl was the carousel at fairgrounds. I would pick my favourite horse and enjoy the speed and motion and independent feeling the experience gave me. Yet, ten years later at 16, the carousel was the last ride I wanted to try. It was too slow, too usual, too childish. "Boring!" I yawned and went to sit on a bench and grumpily do nothing.

Like the fairground, we can 'grow out of' the magic of enjoying our lives. Something new in our lives goes from being exciting, to being mundane with shocking speed. What was once a thrilling new job becomes an obligation; what was once a shiny new relationship gets dulled and routinised. So how do we keep that magic feeling of stepping into the fairground as a six year old? How can you live in your own permanent fairground?

Here are four secrets that work for me:

1) Look at through the eyes of a six year old. Imagine you were six again, looking at your life, with all that awe and wonder for the world. Everything, from driving a car, to going shopping at Tesco, to choosing your own dinner would be magical. That's how your life really is when you look at it - a series of magical moments that hold much more potential than we ever notice.

2) Go for playtime. As John Williams writes about in his book Screw Work Let's Play, it is possible for us to play and work at the same time. I'm pretty sure no six year old would sit at a desk and work for hours on end, so see what happens if you don't either. Play! Sit on the floor, ditch your laptop, play a game, draw a picture... do something that brings the magic back into your life. And then when you restart your activity, you'll feel fresher and you'll do it better.

3) Notice your 'candy-floss'. Candy-floss is all the stuff we have to feel good about in life. If you were standing in a fairground right now, your arms would probably be full of candy-floss, if you only chose to notice. Count all the things you have to feel grateful for. How many of the things you have ever wished for have come true? When good things happen, it's easy for us to forget about them, but if you focus on feeling grateful the magic will stay in your life.

4) Never go to the fairground alone. It's not much fun sitting on a rollercoaster on your own. To keep your day from becoming mundane, look to people around you to play with. Be lighthearted with each other. Do something unusual together. Connect. Give them your energy. The more you invest into the people around you, the more magic they will give you back.

What else do you do to live a magical life? Please share your ideas below :O)

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Staying Motivated Part Three: Vanquishing Vampires & Ducking Demons

You're trying to make something important happen in your life. It could be big, or small, but getting motivated towards it is a challenge. There are three ways to get motivated and stay that way that I've been investigating in this blog. First, we looked at how to create a magnetic future that draws you to your goals and then we investigated what to do to get yourself moving. One more piece of the staying motivated jigsaw puzzle is left: the Vampires and Demons.

Don't worry, you haven't stumbled into another teenage vampire movie. Your inner demons (otherwise known as mood vampires, saboteurs or gremlins) are the voices inside your head that hold you back from achieving what you're really capable of. It's part of the inner dialogue that shapes your ability to stay motivated from moment to moment.

These are the sneaky voices that shoot us down when we're on the verge of success, that tell us we're not good enough and that encourage us not to bother because "What's the point?"

Imagine you've just started up a new business baking cakes. Your inner dialogue might go something like this:

9:05am: Wow, I'm so excited, this is a great new project. I love making cakes and I can't believe I'm running my own business, this is fantastic.
9:15am: This is going so well, I have a new client, I'm loving every minute! I want to do this forever!
9:34am: Oh, wait, I'm not sure this cake's as good as the one I made in training.
9:35am: No, no, no, it's no good, they won't like this at all.
9:36am: For goodness sake, you're useless, can't you even do a simple cake?
9:39am: Oh brilliant, and now you've made it even worse. What were you thinking? You're stupid.
9:40am: You're screwing this up, just like everything else.
9:44am: How can you expect to make this into a business if you can't do one simple thing?
9:45am: You're a useless salesperson, you can't network with people and now you can't even bake a cake. Brilliant.
9:46am: What was I thinking? I wonder if they'll take me back at work.
10:00am: I told you you couldn't do it

Your inner demon is the part of your inner world where doubt, fear, criticism and vulnerability live. The inner demon demands that you stop, go back, or hide in your comfort zone, rather than risking success.

You can notice the inner demon is working overtime when:
- Your energy towards a project slumps - "Oh, wait, I'm not sure this cake's as good as the one I made in training."
- You ignore all the positives and focus on the negatives- "No, no, no, it's no good, they won't like this at all."
- You treat yourself and the situation too seriously - "For goodness sake, you're useless, can't you even do a simple cake?"
- You relate the current situation to all the other times you've gone wrong - "You're screwing this up, just like everything else."
- You make up rules about your behaviour based on this instance - "How can you expect to make this into a business if you can't do one simple thing?"
- And finally, you end up stopping, or restricting your activity - "I told you you couldn't do it"

The same pattern can hold true for any number of situations. But once you've noticed those demons and vampires, how do you battle them so that you can get on with what you were trying to do?

1) Check the logic of the inner demon

Inner demons only hold power when we know them to be true. Byron Katie has developed a highly effective method of questioning your thoughts, which applies to public speaking saboteurs. Take the saboteur’s thought – for example, “I'm a failure” – and ask yourself “Can I be 100% sure this is true?” The answer can be either yes, or no. Unless you can prove to yourself 100% that you are not an interesting speaker (or whatever message it is that your saboteur is giving you), you will have to say “No.” In this way, you begin to discredit your saboteur because it is no longer true in all situations.

2) Find replacement thoughts

Now that this saboteur’s thought has been discredited, you’ll want to find a more accurate thought to put in its place. Try substituting “I'm a failure” with thoughts that are:

Positive: what we tell ourselves becomes true, so we may as well tell ourselves positive things. Try substituting “I'm a failure” with “I have great ideas” or “I made a wonderful cake last week for Rachel”. Find a thought that’s positive and feels authentic.

Specific for negatives and general for positives: It can be useful to admit a mistake you made to learn from it in future. But don’t generalise this negative thought to yourself as a person. Keep any negative thoughts on the present time and situation, so you can see they aren’t universal truths. Substitute, “I’m a failure” for “This time, I left the cake in the oven for a little too long”. When you use replacement thoughts that are positive, then you can use general statements about who you are as a person or speaker: “I am a good business person,” or “I am enthusiastic about making cakes”.

In your control: Base your thoughts around things that you are able to influence, rather than things that are out of your control. Your attitude towards your work is in control. The reaction of others, unforeseen circumstances and mistakes are out of your control. Try replacement thoughts such as “I will be happy with whatever I manage,” or “I will like myself whatever happens”.

3) Say ‘thanks and goodbye’ to the inner demon

Now that you have a replacement thought, you no longer need your inner demon’s advice. Yet, the inner demon will often pop up when you least expect it to offer an unhelpful message. To kick him out once and for all, keep saying 'thanks and goodbye' every time he shows up. It will take patience and time.

Further reading

See Part 1: Building a Magnetic Future

Part 2: Getting off those sticky floorboards

Video Blog: How to be more motivated

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This article is a snippet of the Ginger Training & Coaching Staying Motivated programme for organisations. It's already worked well for groups of lawyers and accountants, so it will work for many more groups. Please email biscuits@go-ginger.com or call 0207 3888 645 if you think your organisation would benefit from Staying Motivated.

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