We all have those things we never get to in life - whether it's clearing out the cupboard, going to the opticians, or actually changing jobs, like you've been meaning to for 7 years. So long as you're not doing those things, there's something that feels sticky and unfinished in your life.
If you're anything 80% of the population, you're the perfect combination of a Procrastinator and a Perfectionist - which means that if you're trying to get something done the Perfectionist tells you "yes, but that's not quite good enough" and your Procrastinator tells you, "Oh well then, maybe I'll do it better later on..."
Author, muse and inspirational speaker - SARK has developed this fantastically fun tool - The "Micro-movement Wheel of Delight" to help all of us Procrastinator-Perfectionists get things done.
What's it good for?
The biggest reason why we don't get stuff done is that we don't really like the sound of doing it. As SARK puts it, it's not delightful enough. The Micro-movement Wheel of Delight is a wonderful tool for bringing enthusiasm into otherwise difficult or dull tasks.
The other reason why we don't get stuff done is because we we don't start. The Micro-movement Wheel of Delight is a perfect tool to solve this, by starting with the basic assumption that we can do anything for 5 minutes. Anything beyond that, who knows? But 5 minutes should be fine, right?
How to do it
So, let's get started. Don't worry, this will only take 5 minutes, so you can start right now.
1) Draw yourself a doughnut like circle in the middle of a page - with eight segments.
2) In the centre of the doughnut, write the thing that you would like to have happen in your life.
Rule number 1: It must be delightful.
If the thing you'd like to have happen is "Tidy my house" - it's clearly not going to happen, because you've developed a reaction to the word 'tidy' that means you see it as something negative. "Tidy my house" focuses on what you want to avoid (the stick), not on what you want to have (the carrot). Instead, why not change your house into "a beautiful palace of calm" or "a gorgeous love pad?" The sillier and the more delightful the better! How much more likely are you to succeed if you're heading towards something that makes you feel delight?
For me, "Tidy my desk" turned into "Create an Office Goodies Temple"
3) In each of the 8 segments, write a micro-movement - a small task that you can do in 5 minutes to help you towards your delightful aim.
Remember rule number 1 - It must be delightful. This is not just a to-do list exercise. Every single segment should delight you. For example, I decided one of my micro-movements needed to be to buy a new stapler. Instead of "Buy new stapler" (snore), my micro-movement became "New luxury stapler shopping adventure." (mmm... James Bond!)
4) Remember rule number 1 - It must be delightful. So, make your Wheel of Delight into whatever is delightful for you. I used colours and doodles to give mine a delightful feeling for me. If it delights you to only fill out one of the segments at a time, that's perfect. And don't think you need to achieve your delightful aim in just 8 steps - these are just the first eight steps to go for. Once you're finished with this Wheel of Delight, make your next one!
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Happiness Exercise 3: The Appreciation Game
Happiness Exercise 2: The Not-to-do List
Happiness Exercise 1: The "I Like" Page
The nights are closing in and with more economic gloom looming, it's easy to find yourself sliding down the slippery slope of demotivation. "What's the point?" "Why bother?" and "Ugh, if I have to..." might be phrases you find yourself uttering from time to time. But when there are so many exciting things to do and achieve in the world, we don't want pesky demotivation to get in the way, do we? Here's the Ginger take on how to keep yourself trim, sharp and motivated.
Part 1: Build a Magnetic Future
Have you ever heard of a walker who accidentally one day stumbled to the top of Everest? Just taking a stroll and "Whoops - what a lovely view"? Me neither. Likewise, if you don't know what your own mountain peak is, the chances are you'll wander round in the foothills without ever reaching the summit. Yet, as soon as you know which mountain you're aiming for, you can start to prepare your ascent.
Building a Magnetic Future means having a strong, detailed and compelling idea of what you want from life. Figure out what your really want and you'll find a deep connection to what keeps you going- otherwise known as your motivation. When something has to happen in your life because you want it so much, it has become a Magnetic Future.
Most of us at some point in life have experienced the pull of a Magnetic Future. You may call it being 'On Purpose,' 'At the top of my game,' or just 'Having a really nice time.' It's the feeling that nothing can get in the way of what has to happen - what's going to happen, because we believe in it so much. So how do you build a Magnetic Future?
1. Start from the end, not the beginning
Forget about what's 'possible' for a moment and think of what you would like to do in your life if you had no constraints. No money issues, no people issues, no place issues, no time issues. What would you like to do in your life? Fill a page of A4 with ideas, words, drawings, images.
2. Find the magnetic force
Take a look at your A4 sheet of paper and see which are the parts of it that really stand out to you. Which are the words or ideas that make you tingle with excitement - and possibly even nerves? If there's nothing on the list that makes you feel that way, go back to your sheet of A4 and think "what could I do in my life that would be outrageous?"
The parts of your paper that stand out to you are the magnet. This will be your driving force to keep you motivated.
3. Turn up the power
Now, ask yourself what would would be different if your magnetic words or ideas became a reality? What would your world look like? How would you behave? What would you achieve? What and who would you interact with? What would you be doing and how would you be doing it?
What would all of this make possible on a broader scale?
What you're doing here is to actually start creating your magnetic future. If you're on the right track, you'll already feel that exciting, motivational pull that shows the magnet is starting to work. Work more on this and you'll hit upon a compelling vision of your future that has to happen. When you really hit that, you'll be unstoppable.
For some people questions like this get their juices flowing instantly, whilst for others they need a different style. That's why I coach people 1-2-1 through processes like this. If you're interested in this technique, but need a helping hand, stop by the Ginger coaching page to find out more about what it involves.
Staying Motivated is not only about building a Magnetic Future - it also has two further steps I call:
Part 2. Getting off those Sticky Floorboards
Part 3. Vanquishing Vampires and Ducking Demons
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This article is a snippet of the Ginger Training & Coaching Staying Motivated programme for organisations. It's already worked well for groups of lawyers and accountants, so it will work for many more groups. Please email biscuits@go-ginger.com or call 0207 3888 645 if you think your organisation would benefit from Staying Motivated.
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Further reading:
How Dreams learn to Fly
Give yourself authority to dream.
What's your point? Focus & One-pointedness in action
Here's a nifty little game to put the sparkle back into a close relationship - whether it's a romantic relationship, a friendship or a tight-knit professional relationship- The Appreciation Game.
What's it good for?
This game is perfect for any relationship where you're a bit tired with the dynamic. Perhaps arguments continually creep in, or perhaps you just feel flat, bored or dulled by what you do together. The Appreciation Game is a great way of zapping confidence, liveliness, humour and a renewed sense of friendship into the relationship, as well as... well, having a greater sense of appreciation for that person.
It's great fun, it works and you'll learn something about yourself along the way!
How to do it
Put aside your regular tasks, mundane goings on and usual way of thinking about this person and find yourself a place where both of you feel relaxed. If you're at home, go out - if you're at work, find a nice cafe or park to go to somewhere nearby. Sit down, look each other in the eye and begin.
The Appreciation Game is exactly what you might expect - each person appreciating the other. Start by one person giving the other just one thing that they appreciate them for. If it's difficult, start with something non-personal, like "I appreciate you for always wearing nice shoes" (don't worry, the appreciations will get better).
Then the other person responds with an appreciation and so you go on. Your appreciation can be absolutely anything- small or large; past, present or future. There are three rules:
1) It must be an authentic appreciation (Never an underhand way of criticising the other person. Not that you would...)
2) No volleying: you're not allowed to tell the other person "Awww... you too" to their appreciation. That would be lazy. Think up your own appreciation.
3) The only response to the appreciation you're allowed is "Thank you." No "Yes, but I didn't..." or "You're only saying that because..." Swallow your appreciation without wriggling around it.
That's it - simple!
Enjoy, and let me know how it goes...
Further reading:
Happiness Exercise 1: The "I like" page
Happiness Exercise 2: The "Not-to-do List"
Happiness Exercise 4: The Wheel of Delight
3) In each of the 8 segments, write a micro-movement - a small task that you can do in 5 minutes to help you towards your delightful aim.
