Back in 1988, the success rate of New Year’s resolutions didn’t look good. 22% failed in their commitments after just a week, 40% after a month, 50% after three months, 60% after six months, and 81% after twenty-four months (see this article for more research on the subject). Twenty years on, with promises and information flying about all over the place, those numbers seem optimistic to me.
According to psychologists, 90% of our behaviours are based on habits, so it’s no surprise that it’s difficult to change one thing about yourself in isolation. This is where the “Quit smoking,” “Lose weight,” “Change career” and so on resolutions fall down.
My method for kicking off your New Year is about gently, but firmly showing yourself the person you want to be a year from now, and setting yourself a structure for getting there. Read on to find out how;
1) Set yourself up
Get a blank sheet of paper, a pen, a comfy seat and a mug of something warm. Write “2009” in big bold letters on one side. Feel free to indulge yourself with a few squiggles or swirls by way of embellishment.
2) Look back
Now fill that side with everything positive you achieved in 2009, from all aspects of your life. Work, your relationships, leisure, spirituality, your home, person brainpower… Think about the big and the small; the short-term goals and the long-term personal changes that you’ve made happen. Think about the things you’ve kept going successfully. What do people around you appreciate about you if they’re really honest? Be generous to yourself and don’t let any snide critical thoughts find their way onto the page. This page is for celebration.
Have a good long look at your 2009 and see how it makes you feel. Stop and appreciate your journey. (The mug of something warm is useful here)
3) Look forward
Now turn over the sheet of paper and think forward to January 2011. Given the distance you’ve come in 2009, what can you set yourself up for in 2010? I like to start with who I want to become.
Close your eyes and picture yourself a year from now if you progress exactly how you want to. Don’t think of things that you want just yet (ignore the new job, 3 stone weight loss and new sports car), but think of who you want to be. How do you want to feel? How do you want to behave to those around you? How do you want to live your life? Right down some positive statements about this you in the present tense “It’s January 2011 and I am…” as this creates the most powerful connection to your intention and helps your vision to become a reality. These are your personal development goals and will guide you on your journey to a fulfilling year.
Now that you have your characteristics covered, you probably have some key areas of your life where you’d like to ensure growth and happiness. This year my focus is on my relationship and my company and the bits in between are covered by my personal development goals. Again, take a moment to see where you’d like to be in a year’s time. Let yourself sink into the vision, but be practical- if you dream up a lottery win and a handsome new man entering your life on a flying unicorn as your aims for the year, you may be disappointed! You can make your vision as broad, or narrow as you like. I combined business targets with more general intentions. Again, write these targets in the format “It’s January 2011 and I am / have…”
4) Get going!
Now you’ve finished that, put your year vision somewhere where you can see it. It’s a good idea to frame it and leave it somewhere you often look – I like to leave myself important messages in the bathroom where I spend 2 minutes every morning and night brushing my teeth. Why not spend that time focusing on your aims?
The more often you revisit your aims, the more often you ‘become’ your intended self for January 2011. You’ll find that the mind has a wonderful way of making our intentions reality. But the key is to base your intentions on things you really want, rather than something someone else has told you to do, or what you should be doing. You’re on track if your goals make you feel light and energised.
Of course, some of your goals may fall off on the way, but the important thing is to head to the person you want to become gradually over time.
This is just a nibble of a much bigger set of tools to help you. If you’d like some more information about this technique, or want to investigate a coaching relationship to really help make 2010 a wonderful year, visit www.go-ginger.com, or get in touch with me at biscuits@go-ginger.com.
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